I did try to work on the blogs some yesterday but blogger is so screwed up it is driving me crazy, some of the backgrounds won't show up, then some have the page so wide you have to scroll. They all look horrible right now. One blog will be fine and the next two messed up, then another good one again. Yet they are all using the same code. I am seriously thought of moving all the blogs someplace else but just cussed them out instead.
Have you ever really looked at four sleeping teenagers? They look like they have all been in some horrible massacre except there is no blood. One is laying in the bed, that would be Demon Seed. He has one arm slung up over his head in an oddly bent manner, I can't even see his other arm, his head is turned to one side, mouth open and drooling, eyes half open. One leg is on the bed the other hanging off the side of the bed. The Devil's Advocate is occupying the other bed, face first into the pillow, do demon children not need air to breath? One is laying on the futon, kinda. Actually from the waist up he is on the futon and the rest of him is on the floor. His face is face down into the futon cushion, one arm wrapped around the side bar the other laying loosely at his side fingers resting on the floor. The third one is in a sleeping bag on the floor. At least I think he is, I can actually only see a lump in the middle of the sleeping bag and both dogs are accounted for so I am assuming it is him. One groans, one farts and my drooler is smacking his lips so I am pretty sure they are all alive.
How does one seemingly innocent child ruin two brand new pair of jeans in one afternoon? I don't get it. He puts on his brand new white jeans and goes to hang with friends, he wasn't gone long before he comes home and tells me there was some little kids at the skate park trying to learn something so he was going to show them how to do it, he bombed and rolled into the grass. Grass stains all over the white jeans. Then he goes and puts on his new black jeans. Sounds like a good move, right? It would have been had he not decided that he needed to bleach his skateboard wheels at that exact moment, couldn't wait another second to bleach those wheels. I told him that if he gets any of that bleach on those jeans it would ruin them, he turns to look at me and says "I know, I will be careful", that was the moment the toe of his shoe got caught in the wood on the deck and he poured the whole bowl down the front of his shirt and jeans. Yep, he is a certified drooler! The scary part? This is a MENSA kid.
I realized just how much I hate my ex louse this week. I met this guy, good looking, really sweet, very polite and wasn't hurting in the income department. I really liked him until I asked what profession he was in and he told me he was an aeronautical engineer. Same as my ex and I swear if you had been standing beside me you would have heard the snap as my brain shut down. All at once I wanted no part of him just because he shares the same profession. I have to get over this, they can't all be jackasses. Maybe they all take Jackass 101, 102 and in my ex louse's case he also signed up for Jackass 103 while in engineering school. Until that is proven not to be true I think I will stay away from them. I have decided that I will sleep with the next one that damn good looking before I even ask his profession though.
I was also faced with another trauma this week. Night before last my chihuahua, who is like a tumor attached to my body, kept running off to the bedroom to bark. Now even though he is a chihuahua he rarely barks and when he does it is usually for a reason that you need to go check on because something isn't right. I went to my bedroom and he is standing on my bed looking out the window every time. My bedroom is upstairs so I sleep with the window open because according to my sons I have never heard of extension ladders and therefor am not really safe, I just think I am. Anyway I would look out and see or hear nothing but still the dog kept barking and pacing. This went on all night long. At daylight I could finally see what his issue was, a huge stray cat had died right under my window. So I call the city to come and dispose of it and I am told they can't come until Monday because they were off for Good Friday and the weekend. But they would be happy to pick it up Monday for me. Seriously, I am suppose to sleep with this rapidly decomposing and wonderfully smelling cat under my window for three nights in the Alabama heat? Not to mention the barking and pacing it was going to keep my dog going through. I made many calls and could get no one to come get the stupid cat so I finally sucked it up, dressed up in long sleeves and pants and threw on some surgical gloves, I would have used a hazmat suit if I had one, and went to dispose of the dead cat myself. I had no other option. I quickly realized that the cat was way too big for me to hold a garbage bag with one hand and pick the cat up with the other hand so I called in reinforcements. The Devil's Advocate, the one who gags at anything even remotely gross. So there we are he is holding the bag, I am picking up mammoth cat and trying to get it in the bag. Every time I got close to the bag, The Devil's Advocate had to turn around a vomit, causing me to miss the bag. We repeated this about five times before I finally told him if he did it one more time we switched places and he would pick up the cat while I held the bag so if he felt he needed to vomit this time he better just vomit on himself or swallow it. With the fear of God in him he managed to hold still that time and I finally got the cat in the bag. Then it hit is both. Ok, we have this huge dead stinky cat bagged but what the hell do we do with it now? I called the city begging, telling them I had already done the hard work could they just come get it. Not until Monday. They suggested I throw it in a dumpster. I ask if she was serious because even though it's a dumpster it's not exactly made for hazardous materials which is what any dead thing becomes. She told me she was serious so that's what we did. Me driving, my son holding the bag out the car window and looking for a dumpster. My son came home and I know he scrubbed himself for an hour in the shower even though he never once touched anything but the bag. I don't think a career in medicine or animal control is in his future. The career fields he can manage are getting slimmer, I fear it may end up in some type of engineering and then I am going to have to disown him because of my