I have decided to create a rant page for all those things that irritate the fuck out of me but aren't long enough to make a post of. I also think the rant page should be optional for people to look at if they want but not have to listen to me rant if they don't want too. This way I can add to it from time to time since I get easily annoyed.
1. Don't send a fucking student nurse on a 2 yr program in to see me, then give me her "opinion" when I go to the ER! I have 4 years of nursing school for my bachelors, 2 more years to get my masters, 1 yr of getting my specialty and then another 3 yrs getting my doctorate in nursing and more work experience than he/she does to ever feel comfortable with this. When I have to tell you to glove before approaching me and explain that you never start an IV in the injured limb we are going to have a problem. I'm sick, I am not there to teach your ass. Back off and I will start my own IV.
2. Stop throwing your empty cigarette packages outside of your car onto my driveway. Trash up your own car until you get back home and can throw them away or stop at the dumpster at the end of the road and throw them out.
3. All visiting teenagers please make sure you take your stinky socks home with you when you leave. It took me two days the last time to ferret out where the nasty odor was coming from.
4.Take a good look at me when I answer my door. If my hair is standing on end, I have on a pair of boxer shorts, a t-shirt and a cup of coffee in my hand then there is a good possibility I am not working so don't ask me to come to your house and see if I think your kid needs to go to the doctor. It's your kid, use your own judgement. No, running a temp of 102 all night is not causing brain damage (although I am starting to think genetics is going to play a role in his life in that matter), no you do not immerse someone with a temp in cold water to "bring it down" unless your goal in the first place was to place your child in shock so you could get a few hours of sleep, always use tepid water, never, ever cold water. Actually bitch at a 102 all he needed was some Tylenol and to go back to bed. Sometimes that fever is your friend and is fighting off some infection, leave it alone. Now go home, I have blogging to do.
5. Stop telling me "I was at the hospital last night and didn't see you". That could be for two reasons, one you brought a child in who I avoid at all costs because I don't like them or two you came in with something that can be handled outside of the trauma area. The trauma area and the general ER are two entirely different places and we do entirely different things. You have a cold, I am waiting on the woman and two kids who just run up under an 18 wheeler knowing already one child is going to be DOA and also knowing it will be a miracle if we can do anything for her mother or brother. See the difference?
6. Stop asking me what kind of dogs I have. One is a chihuahua and the other is a pug. Now tell me how many other breeds look so close to either of those that you can't tell the difference? Oh and please stop asking me if my pugs face is suppose to be all smashed in like that. Do you really think I ran her face into the wall over and over until it smashed it in?
7. When you come to fix my ice maker take all your old parts with you when you leave, don't leave them laying in my floor for me to find. It only makes me want to hurl them through your closed truck window. See where I am going here? We aren't bonding and we should be because my ice maker may break down again sometime and I may have to call you back. Now I am going to have to call the other guy, I like the color of his truck better anyway.
8. You know your addicted to cigarettes when you step outside on your balcony to have a cigarette (we don't smoke in our house) and hear four very close gun shots go off and you calmly sit there and finish that cigarette. I live in an upscale area, in a very quite town, in a condo where nothing ever happens. Our police report for the month came out yesterday and in the whole last month we had one incident across town, a domestic dispute. Yet I sat there and smoked my cigarette. Maybe we will be on Nancy Grace, bitch better be prepared to interview me on my deck smoking my cigarette in my snowflake robe.
9. If you bring your 16 yr old daughter to my house to visit with my kids then for God's sake pick them up before 3:00am! Just because you let her boyfriend spend the night with her doesn't mean I am going to have the same feelings on the subject. It will also save me the trouble of having to tell you off again. Next time you do this I am going to call the police and report I have an abandoned child here could they please come and pick her up. Maybe you can get to the city jail faster than you can to my house. You weren't fooling me for one second bitch, you never had any intentions of picking that child up until I started calling you every 30 minutes until you finally showed up at 3:00 am!