Tuesday, April 16, 2013

MIA But Not By Choice

I have a few blogs drafted that I wrote while everything was going on, I'm going to try, remember that word "try", to get them up in the next day or so.

First set back was a nice, not so pleasant case of the Shingles that really did me in. Bed rest. Since my laptop isn't working and I don't have enough words to describe how much I hate my tablet I only had my cell. Do you realize how hard it is to type on that thing when your highly medicated with pain pills, muscles relaxants, Neurontin and Klonopin? The short, stubby fingers and broken glasses don't help a lot either.

For two years when I was a child I missed every damn holiday that rolled around and my family got together for huge dinners at every holiday. The first year it was a nasty case of flu on Easter, I don't count the 4th of July because even though I am easily distracted by bright shiny objects I do not like the sound so I always begged my Mom to take me to my Aunt(who hated them worse than I did)and let me stay with her. If my parent's didn't take me I kicked up such a fuss and complained so much through the whole "picnic on the hill until the fireworks start" that they eventually, ok, they are't stupid, after the first time they gladly took me to her house. But then comes Thanksgiving and the mumps. Then Christmas comes and I get the measles on Christmas Eve. I weathered them but hated missing the big dinners and of course no one wanted to come to Typhoid Mary's house for dinner.

Second year came Easter rolls around. Guess who has a double ear infection and strep throat? Yep, me, Typhoid Mary. Thanksgiving comes and I spent it in the hospital with pneumonia. Then Christmas, my favorite holiday of all. There isn't anything I don't like about Christmas (except not having money to buy gifts with, but that wasn't such a concern when I was 7), I love the smells, the sounds, the decorations and my favorite of all is the tree. Well except the year we trusted Christmas tree shopping to my Mom who came home with a Charlie Brown tree because she felt sorry for it. I swear the stupid thing didn't have but to branches to put anything on and all the needles had fallen off of it. She was quickly dispatched back for another tree fearing she would be hanged from the highest limb on that Charlie Brown tree. She brought it in while we were at school and Dad was at work and had it beautifully decorated by the time we got home. The only thing she forgot was that my Dad and I both are highly allergic to Cedar trees and that one had to go too. She was never again trusted to get the Christmas trees. Anyway this second Christmas I wake up with the worst case of chicken pox my doctor said he had ever seen. I was an itchy, painful mess and they lasted forever. But once they were gone I trusted them to never come back. I didn't know that someday those damn things would climb out of the dark recesses of my body and attack again. Only this time I think they were pissed at me because I kept picking their scabs off all those years ago so they gave me a nasty case of shingles. I didn't treat them nicely this time either and I cussed them a lot. That was before my Dr told me I could get them again sometime. If I had known that before I would have sang lullabies to them and fluffed their pillows every night. Just so maybe, just maybe they will pass me by again.

Before I even get off bed rest I get a call in the middle of the night that my son, who is a professional diver, that's actually his job, was attacked by a shark 600 miles out in the middle of the ocean and they are making arrangements to fly him back to shore to the trauma hospital. At first I thought it was one of those Ambien dreams everyone talks about but I never seem to have, I really did, seriously who gets attacked by a shark in the middle of the damn night? My child, that's who. His excuse is "Mom it's just as dark under the water in the daytime as it is at night so it really doesn't make a difference" As you can imagine the next several days were taken up with him, his injuries, his surgeries, lot of praying and thankfulness that he didn't lose a limb. All can be repaired, minus some bone the shark took with him and they are rebuilding that. He looks a lot like Robo Cop right now with all the pins, screws, strings attached to everything so they can test movement through the brace without taking the brace off.  Immediately after surgery he had full functionality but in the last two days he has lost some feeling on one area, the dr thinks it's just swelling pushing against a nerve and it will come back as soon as the swelling goes down. He is looking at a year of recovery. But since he was on the job when it happened the company he works for is giving him his full pay until he can dive again, told him they thought a shark attack was definitely qualifications for a promotion and pay raise, paid all hospital bills and bought all his medicine. They send someone by everyday to see if he needs anything. They have been really good to him through this ordeal. He does think it's hilarious that his personal ringtone on my phone is now the theme song from the movie "Jaws". I just thank God he has 15 years experience at this, knows marine life in and out and knew how to save himself. I always thought just punch them in the nose and they went away, well turns out that only works on some sharks, it just pisses the Mako shark off more. Then he goes into this long explanation how to ward off the each individual shark (some I have never heard of) during an attack. I told him I would remember that the next time I get in the bathtub or a hot tub since that is the deepest and only body of water I ever get in. A shark gets me on the beach it better have some legs hidden somewhere cause I just skim the shoreline and let the water wash over my feet.


  1. I think he has your twisted sense of humor, don't you?

    1. Actually all my children do but one. That would be Fantasy Barbie. Bless her heart.

  2. Thanks for your post i like your sharing thanks allot for this one and keep sharing always.competitive prices of beds and mattresses