"Unique Beds"

I need a new bed desperately, but once I figured out that no matter how hard I batted my eyelashes at the salesman or how many blow jobs I promised he wasn't going to give me one for free I gave up and came home to look beds up online.

Why not just sit in a chair? This reminds me of a sideways hospital bed with a headboard nailed to the side.

Why do you want your bed to look like a book? I re-name this the No Sex Bed Book

Do you realize how many bones I would break just trying to turn over and flipping out?

The Magnetic Bed. What happens if the magnet fails. Yep, more broken bones!

I'm not sure if I would be claustrophobic or think about breakfast all night. I don't think I want to sleep in an egg.

At first glance this one looks interesting, but then I realized it was just the TV, how would you stretch out and really get comfortable in this thing?

What if you want to lay on your other side? 

Now these two beds are perfect for me!

The Senso Water Massage Bed, I can live with the fact that it strongly resembles a pool table.

And it massages!

Considering I have no more of those nasty little creatures called small children, or as Eric from Trueblood calls them "Pocket Humans" I don't even know how I got into looking at children's beds. But I have learned I had a very deprived childhood by not having one of these and might even sleep in one now just to make up for lost time.

"No dear, don't worry it won't screw up her sense of not mixing polka dots and stripes when she learns to dress herself"

"If we put astro turf under it instead of green carpet it might leave a few rug burns when she falls out but it looks more like grass and is so much cuter this way"

This is called the Eco Friendly bed. Why? Because it has trees and clouds painted on it?

Not exactly sure how you're suppose to get up on that side bench to sit. This one might be made for people like me who don't exactly have a fondness for small children so they buy it for their friends who have that spoiled little brat that throws a fit everywhere they try to take her. "Hey just sit her up there on that bench she can't get down until we get back anyway"

Yes, this is really a bed, I just haven't found it yet. I think I see a pillow peaking out through one window. Talk about letting your child know you are ready for her to leave home right away.

Hope the Great Dane can tell the difference between bed and food!

Told you I was deprived!

More proof my parents didn't like me.