You think there has to be a limit as to how much you can take. But it seems like someone forgot to set that limit on my family. Last month we buried my 26yr old cousin who was killed in a car accident. A year ago my grandson died due to a cord incident at birth. Two years before that we buried my niece who came down with a simple cold in December and died the first week of February. Before that it was my own son. Now today I get another phone call, my cousin, who's mother is the sister of the girl that was just killed, hung himself last night, he was 35yrs old and left four beautiful kids. How stupid and selfish could he be? I want to grieve for him but I can't all I can feel is anger. The other deaths were out
of our control, no one could stop them but this, this was a choice he made. How do you grieve that? How do you feel anything but anger when you look in those stunned children's faces who are too young to even know what is going on? How do you tell all those little children that all the arrows being slung at their own mother and accusations that she is the cause is all bullshit? So what she left him, her reason doesn't even matter. I don't know this girl very well, but I do know that no one deserves the blame and guilt being thrown her way. A lot of people divorce and separate, they don't run out and hang themselves over it. It wasn't her fault, the blame lays within him, some coping mechanism he was missing. He was a smart man, he knew the rift this would cause yet chose to do it anyway to get back at someone who didn't love him anymore.
I wake up sick this morning, dehydrated and if I were my own patient I would have my butt slapped in the hospital so fast my head would spin. Ok, enough feeling sorry for myself and making you all listen to my rant. I have to think of something funny to write.