Scorned Wife and Criminal Relatives

I received this award from my girl Lily who resides at The Incoherent Ramblings of a Moose!. Lily also has a child, Spawn, who is out to take the world over so we have a bonding experience, I personally think there must surely be something in pre-natal vitamins that can have this reaction in some children. We may someday be the only mothers left, if our children decide to let us live through their planned apocalypse. I have to admit mine have never given me any indication that I will be on the list of survivors, but one can always hope.

I haven't written for a while, it's been a rough month for me. First I get a call from my half sister's husband. Keep in mind I have not spoken or saw them for at least 10 years. My sister and I are totally different people in our approach to life and raising children. We have never been close. There was also that little matter of her sitting in the other room letting her ex-husband beat her 3 yr old son bloody, me calling the police the second I found out about it the next morning, DPS investigating it and giving me the child, my sister and Mr. Wonderful fleeing town in the middle of the night with the child, the 6 month hunt for the child and the eventual arrest of Mr. Wonderful to come between any sisterly bond we might ever have had. The first day after they made the great escape we came home from work, it was winter, to find that all our utilities had been disconnected. And I do mean all of them. It's Friday night and nothing we can do until Monday but get a hotel room for the weekend. Monday morning we start making the rounds of the utility companies only to find out each had been called and told by "us" that we were moving and needed everything turned off , even left fake addresses for the final bills to be sent to. Of course these companies calls are all recorded and they played the recordings back, the voices were my sister and Mr. Wonderful pretending to be us. So there really aren't any warm fuzzy feelings flowing back and forth between us. I am however very close to her children (when Mr. Wonderful went to prison for beating my nephew she was given custody back of her son). Now she is married to one I call "The Goon", I have never in my life seen an uglier or dumber human being that is not employed by a circus sideshow. It seems my sister has decided a life of crime might be more profitable than actually working (she also has a degree in nursing) so she used the routing number off of a loan check The Goon had taken out against their house and went on a computer shopping spree with it. They got her on 49 counts of felony federal bank fraud, then after getting her in jail find out she has 42 outstanding bad checks that she had signed The Goon's name on so another 42 felony fraud accounts were added. She didn't lie about it, admitted it all, I mean what was the point in her lying they have her on video cashing most of them. Both older children are married and on their own, but her 16 yr old daughter is still at home. I am the only person she has. So thinking my beyond stupid sister was going to prison for many years for her acts I was contacted by DPS to see if I would take custody of her daughter. We all know that children are not high on my list so I immediately felt the fear of God rush through my body, steadied myself against the kitchen counter and weakly gasped out a "yes". Even though this is a child that belongs to Mensa, Decca, never caused anyone a bit of trouble in any way and is the most grounded 16 yr old I have ever seen, she has her goal of being a lawyer (probably thinks she may need to help her mother out some day) set and has worked hard for it. She has already completed all classes for an Associates Degree and at her high school graduation she will also be given her Associates Degree. Then she is off to start her path to law school. Can you imagine how far from that path the Demon Seed and The Devil's Advocate could lead her? But of course I said yes, I love this child and there is no way she was going to anyone else. So it's been a mad dash between two states that have two entirely different sets of laws trying to get everything set up legally. So we get all this done and then I am informed the charges have all been dropped and my sister will be home Monday so there is no need now. I should be glad about this but in a way I am not, I really do want my niece out of that environment but my hands are tied and enduring the many "I'm going to hold you in contempt of court if you don't stop calling Mr. Blank "The Goon" from the judge still ringing in my ears. Of course there was that fleeting moment of revenge when the judge had heard me say it so much that he actually slipped and called him Mr. Goon. Right after his quick apology to the court I turned to my attorney and loudly asked "Is that not considered contempt of court? He's been telling me it was." Is it OK if the judge says it?". I'm telling you it's one of those moments you live for in life.

So I am upset and fuming about all this wasted time, energy and emotion I have just put in and wondering how my sister has once again beat the system as I drive back home, when I have a tire blow out. Of course I did what any self respecting southern lady would do and called Roadside Assistance, mostly because I have no idea how to change a tire. I think RA figured this out rather quickly when they ask if I had a donut and I replied "No but I'm just across the street from the donut shop and can go get some if you want me too" That was when they told me to just stay in my car and someone would be right there. They came, taught me about donuts and then the search was on for a tire. I find a tire to fit and take my car in and then they tell me I need four new tires, not just one. I guess it was my fuzzy houseslippers with the hole in the toe, the flaky green nailpolish and the T-shirt that said something about a tattoo shop that made them think I had enough money to buy four new tires and have a front and rear alignment done at the same time to the tune of $700.

The next day I go back to my doctor because my fibro is flaring and I need my meds upped, no surprise considering all of the above mentioned stress. They do a bunch of blood work and come back to inform me that yes, I do have fibro but I also have Lupus. Lupus? Where the hell did that come from?  I didn't even go in there with any inkling anything else was wrong. Now they are telling me I probably had lupus first and that is what triggered the fibro. I'm ashamed to tell you I took the news rather like a 6 yr old being told she isn't going to get to go to the fair that night after having been promised she would for the last three weeks straight. I came home and threw a temper tantrum and then retreated to my room for days.

Then last night I find my ex in is in town to work a charity event that we have been associated with for over 25 yrs. He hasn't come the last three years so I really didn't expect him this year either. I usually just stay home the years he comes so I don't have to deal with him. Last night he calls and asks if I have any of the charity's shirts in XXL at my house because his had gotten dirty while setting up the stage for the bands. I happily told him of course I did and would send one with The Demon Seed and The Devil's Advocate when they came (they usually go and help prep food, set up the lights and stage, etc the day before the actual charity, then since there father is head of the security for the charity they spend the night with him at the event arena). I sent the shirt, I just did a little artwork on the back in magic marker first,  it says: "I cheated on my wife and now she hates me, walked out on my kids and now they hate me, even the dogs hate me but I think I am one hell of a catch, wanna take me home to your Mamma and show me off?"  Fool never even noticed it and wore it all night. If anyone there saw it, and you know they had to notice it,  they didn't point it out to him, just let him walk around with it on. Guess they don't like him very much either. The lesson here men, is don't ask the woman scorned for a favor, it will come back to bite you in the ass, every time.

Thought I would share this email I got a couple weeks ago:

I love your blog except that you have mean kids and bad language.  You should really teach your children better. How do you get your background to change so often?  Mine is always the same, it never changes. Do you have to pay extra to get it to do that?

My reply:

I would surely contact Google and complain if I were you.  I  just paid my basic blogger fee of $1,000, maybe it comes with that. You could try sending them a check and see if yours changes then. Just don't forget to tell them you want the changing background option.