Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Two For Teeth

Dear God,
If I ever have to take two 17 yr olds to the dentist at the same time again would you please just come and take me in my sleep the night before?
Thank you,
Shea.

One is whining because he has a cavity to be filled and the other one doesn't. One is complaining because he has to floss and brush before going. His reasoning is "They are going to clean them anyway so what is the point?" Because I need to cover my ass is why. I fed you both sugared donuts and Jalapeno flavored cheese puffs for breakfast and McDonald's for lunch so just brush and floss for God's sake!  I don't need a lecture this afternoon. The Demon Seed isn't a big talker so I can probably count on him. At best they will only get a couple of grunts out of him. There isn't enough sedation in the world to shut up The Devil's Advocate, on any subject, so he will delight in naming off all the junk food I have allowed him to consume in the name of sanity in the last 6 months. With that one I will just consider it a win if he doesn't tell on me too.

I plan on taking a book to hide behind, maybe sit on the other side of the waiting room and pretend I don't know them. I am even prepared to roll my eyes along with others waiting when I hear one of them loudly proclaim to the other one as if they were hard of hearing " Damn that ugly tree fucked her up bad!" when a new patient comes in. I might even mumble something about their poor mother just to make it seem more realistic.

I have put this off as long as possible so I really have to run for now. All hope that the dental office has burned to the ground and all appointments are cancelled until they rebuild is gone.

Pray for me.

10 comments:

  1. Did you really go today? Me too!! 4 kids to the dentist and I cover my ass like that all the time. Every 6 months to be exact. No cavities!1 Yay!!

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    1. I really went. Just getting ready to blog about the experience.

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  2. ha! I remember my mom taking me and I said the same thing about flossing.

    I mean, they're going to know anyway right? Too cute.

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    1. And at 17 they should know that so they should be in there scrubbing like crazy. LOL

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  3. I don't think floss had been invented when I was a kid. We brushed with Vince Tooth Powder.

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    1. Now that you mention it I don't remember floss when I was younger either. I remember choosing the tooth paste was such a big deal. I always went with the one that looked the prettiest. Not always a good choice as far as taste I found out.

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  4. I am taking my wonderful boy child to the orthodontist next week, start praying for me now please!! ( did I spell orthodontist correctly?)..

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    1. Dang, Roe I am more worried about you calling him wonderful than I am about your spelling orthodontist right!

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  5. Totally feel ya! Had one who had his braces taken off last week, then on to the regular dentist who lectured me about his dental hygiene. Ummm didn't they do all the cleaning and stuff while the braces were on? no?! where did I take him? Dr ABC. Oh, i'm forgiven because your wife is they hygenist there... don't think so.
    I'm afraid I may have called him an inappropriate name and walked out.

    As for the church potluck. FUnny... I'm Southern Baptist, potlucks are in our blood..and I totally know EXACTLY what your talking about. It's strange how we always miss Church on potluck days now, someone is always 'sick'. ;)
    Following you. Found you through another blog...love it! will be back!

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    1. Going to visit your blog as soon as I finish writing about the whole dental experience. The above was only a small taste of what was to come. Thanks for folling!

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