Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Unfortunately For Jay Fallen...The Email Arrived

I hate it for you Jay but today I received yet another email from my new best friend, Shelley. I think we may be bonding, or she is just stupid and didn't get the concept of what I was trying to convey to her in my last reply. Here is today's mail from her and my response back. Consider this your warning, I will be discussing feminine hygiene products.

Hi there Shea!

Just wanted to make sure you saw my note below about Fragrance Free Day, this Friday, August 10th? I thought your readers might be interested in participating in our live Twitter chat with our panel of green experts from 1-2 pm on Friday.

I'm including the press release for the event below. You can also visit SeaYu's blog for more information: http://www.odorandstainremover.com/wordpress/?p=1485.


My New BFF Shelley,
 I did see and respond to your "note", I'm not sure where "below" is, living in the south I only know where "over yonder" is, but I did find it in my email box,  and it wasn't under a damn thing. Did you mean to hide it under something and the email God's moved it? If so, I apologize for that.

At any rate, we have already discussed why it isn't good for me to join Fragrance Free Day and apparently you missed my blog post on my twitting tweets with my twat. It has proven to be even harder than it sounded, sometimes when something isn't used for a while it doesn't always respond. I may have to retrain it. Unfortunately I don't think I can get enough lessons in between now and the 10th so it is doubtful I will be twat tweeting with you. My readers, however are free to tweet with you at their own discretion, it may hard for a couple of them considering they don't have twats to tweet with. I would have thought with our new found friendship you would have read my post and understand my issue with tweeting. If your going to be my new best friend by sending me these constant emails you gotta get with it girl and keep up with my blog!

I did notice that this time you sent me a link for odor and stain remover. Does that by any chance work on teenage boys? I mean I really am in the market for something, anything, to replace the overwhelming vapor of AXE that wafts through my house after showers. So if it can be used as a body wash, deodorant and body spray then we might have a deal.

Can this also be used as a douche? I am a little picky about my scent. I much prefer the fresh scents of the ocean or clean linen even a light flowery smell is fine. I just don't want to be standing in line at Walmart and have everyone around me looking around to see where the Lysol odor is coming from only to discover it is coming from my crotch. That would just open up a whole dialogue I just really wouldn't want to engage in while standing in the cashier's line.

Also your tweeting time from 1:00-2:00 poses a slight problem for me. That is the time for my second Klonopin dose of the day and to deal with tweeting on twitter I would have to wash it down with some Tequila which would highly enhance the effects of the medication, rendering anything I might possibly bring to the discussion a little iffy. Hell, I have trouble filtering when sober, as I'm sure you have guessed by now. I fear with my Klonopin on board and the Tequila I might possibly be able to take down your whole company with a few misplaced comments. I do appreciate the invite though and hope you keep me in mind for any future events your company might have.

I will eagerly await your response to my questions.  Your concern for my family's hygiene truly touches my heart.

Love ya like a sister girl,


  1. OMG with the AXE. I swear today I could taste it.

    1. It simply permeates the entire surrounding area, I don't know what they put in that shit but it should be illegal.

  2. yea... my son (12) decided it would make a good bathroom air freshener after taking a dump. wth?! axe/ lysol. I'm all for fragrance free where axe is concerned, but lysol twat sounds... well... foul. LOL

    1. Now you can see just where my concern for the scent of their odor/stain remover comes from, it would be foul and I don't like people staring at me.

  3. Hilarious Posting! :) They seem persistent to get you to participate in their fragrance day! I once gave a car air freshner pine tree as aroma-therapy to friend whining about a stubbed toe. :) Then had to listen to a "why do you think I stink sermon" :/

    1. Some people can just be ungrateful for the gifts we choose to give them!

  4. Good god woman... I know you warned me but I still read it... yeah stupid me. Now I'm scarred for life especially since I love the smell of clean linens and such... Now I will never be able to sniff my laundry the same way again :(