Sunday, January 8, 2012

Celebrity Wife Swap

Last night, being the reality TV whore that I am, I watched the new show "Celebrity Wife Swap". I'm sure the neighbors can still hear my hooting and hollering resounding in their ears today. I want to personally meet the warped mind that put this episode together, he/she could possibly overtake Judge Judy as my new hero! I want to meet the person that was sitting there and all at once said "Hey, I know, we will have Gary Busey swap with Ted Haggard, that will get us millions of viewers!" Besides myself, just who's mind works in that way? Seriously, besides over sized teeth, goofy grins, and super inflated egos just what do these two men have in common that would even lead your mind to put the two of them together in a single thought?

The look of horror on Gayle Haggard's face when she realized just what she had gotten herself into was priceless. I suspect she would have felt safer with a serial killer. I totally expected her to pull out an electric drill and install a lock on the bedroom door to keep the devil out. But she took it like a champ and decided she could "enlighten" Gary Busey.  Obviously she doesn't watch a lot of television and missed "Celebrity Rehab" and "Celebrity Apprentice". She is upset because Gary won't listen to her story, she wants to tell him about the scandal and how they handled it and all he wants is to know what sport she played as a child. Gayle honey, just because you choose to believe Ted, who confessed that all was true and now wants to back pedal and call the guy "his accuser" instead of "his meth using lover" that doesn't mean everyone wants to sit and listen to it. Go into Gary's light and enjoy life for a bit, it's quite obviously a pleasant place to be, just look how happy Gary is there.

Then we have smarmy poor Ted who had to deal with Gary's "wife/girlfriend/but we are married spiritually" live in love, who I might add here can rival Gary in the extra teeth department. But then so can Ted so he probably didn't even notice. Hell, I'm not even sure Ted notices the world around him. He seems to think every comment made to him by anyone requires a fake ear to ear grin and head nod and is totally oblivious to the world around him. But it's OK because he lives in the light and love of the Lord and that is all the guidance he needs! At least that was his feeble explanation. Now Gary and his live in "wife/girlfriend/but we are married spiritually" think they have lived 30 something past lives together, in one of them he was Constantine's dad, and she is pretty sure she lived a past life with ole' Ted too. Who knows? Maybe they did. She wants to free the Haggard's and their children, teach them to enjoy each other and to remember all their past lives together. Then all will be right with the world. Maybe she is right, with their ability to sugar coat his scandal and the fact that they have so many fully grown children still living at home I think they could use her free spirited help.

I want to dislike goofy Gary and his "wife/girlfriend/but we are married spiritually" Stephanie, but I can't. He has no filter and I have no filter. We are kindred spirits, we may have even been Cleopatra's parents in a former life. I found I actually like their crazy ass life and them. For all of his goofiness he does have lucid moments of pure brillance. Their ramblings make me happy because watching them you can see that they are happy, and that is all that really matters. Maybe it's a special talent of the Haggard's that a few minutes of them on my TV screen can make anyone, even Gary Busey look normal. I would much rather live in the Busey's world of confusion and in your face happiness than the world of denial the Haggard's live in.


  1. Wow I don't think I would want to identify with either of those two couples. Funny post.

    1. Thanks for coming by. I know I couldn't figure out which one would have been the worst household to have to live in.