As much as I am in the mood to write a blog, my mind and body aren't co-operating. I have been having a little issue with anxiety lately due to an ass monkey ex louse. Yesterday the dr decides it's serious enough to medicate me. He did not inform me that he put me on the highest dose three times a day turning me into a zombie and that I would feel like the zombie next to me just ate the last brain cell that the zombie before him left. See? I am not even making sense. They keep telling me I will get use it to in a few weeks and feel normal. I'm not sure I want too.
I kind of like not knowing where my head is in relation to my body, I like being disconnected from the idiots around me. I might should have passed up that text I just sent to my ex though. Surely he won't take it serious that I prefer to see him rotting in the corner of a jail cell hiding from all the rapist who are going to adore his pretty blue eyes than to be "nice" enough to buy his girlfriend's car tag for him. Nah, who am I kidding I would have sent a nastier one if my thought process wasn't laying over there in the dog bed with my head.
Now, the side effects of this medication has me a little baffled as to how I am going to recognize them when or if they come. I might be able to pick out the "homicidal thoughts" that are possible as long as I stay around people I like. Which pretty much comes down to my dogs. I might even be able to pick out "the suicidal thoughts" that might present, mostly because I would be too lazy to do that in my right mind so the extra activity would tell me something was wrong. Diarrhea? I might not catch that one right away but I figure if I catch it immediately after it would still be close enough to count as awareness.
The irritability? That ones going to be a little tricky since I am irritable a lot. I will just have to judge that one by how many people leave the house to get away from me. More than the usual two and I will assume I am having an adverse reaction to the medication and take another one until I have all the teenage parasites cleaned out of here.
But the one that really concerns me is hallucinations. It's no secret I am a ghost hunter, I have done this for many years and belong to a professional ghost hunting team. We travel all over. But I am a sensitive. I talk to, feel and see ghosts. So how am I suppose to know if it is a hallucination or not? What if I get the messages screwed up? What if Ghostie Joe is talking at the same time as Ghostie Jane and I can't tell the difference? What if Ghostie Joe and Ghostie Jane are figments of my imagination and I waste time talking to them? Dear God, I just opened myself up for a ton of nasty email telling me I am crazy for seeing ghosts, they don't exist, etc., which is only going to bring out the irritability and homicidal feelings in me.
Might as well go ahead and take that other pill now so I will have some kind of defense my lawyers can work with.