Sunday, February 10, 2013

Baby Names

While I realize this is a touchy subject to those that feel the right to name their child any "beautiful, misspelled or stupid names. Also realize I don't give a shit if your offended or not. Case closed.

Today my friend comes by to tell me her nephew had just had a baby this morning. Out of courtesy you usually ask the standard questions: "Was it a boy or girl?",  "What did they name him/her?", "How much did he/she weigh?" "How long was he/she?" I may be the only one that asks these questions because I am nosy and it's just easier for me to think everyone else asks them too. I got to the first question of his sex and was told they are still testing as it could not be determined by a visual. I felt the tiniest twinge of sympathy for the baby and the parents. I ask his name and was told they had named  it "Awesome Lionitis" My first thought was it sounded like a rare sexually transmitted disease and all sympathy for the parents was gone and the sympathy for the baby amped up a little. But then I started out giggling which soon went into a full blown, in your face laughing. I was still laughing as she left 10 minutes later. The kid was born not knowing if it is male or female and then the parents go and compound that with that name? How many different ways can they screw this child up?

Other crazy or stupid names in this weeks newspapers:


Teronious Anthony (Teronious? Really?)

Adesina Ogooluwasubomi (yeah he is going to learn to spell his last name, hopefully by the time he graduates from college)

Sergio Lerico Leone

Rhyle Blaze

ZaQuan Maurice

Jason Soaring Hawk (because the "Jason" just fit the other two names perfectly?)

Rocket Cade

Sosthene (what else could you expect, his mother's name is Saskia?)

Apelu Mason (you just know his friends are going to end up calling him Ape for short!)

Xavier Ahdosy

Destry OnNeal (fairly certain this one is gay)

Ismail Luciano

Gabriel Ubaldo (he is going to have some good kid inspired nicknames too)

Ezrah Razial


Akeria Zhane

Jahliah Raquel

Shayma Lamia (I'm thinking the parents must have felt shame at getting pregnant and don't think to highly of the baby)

Sweet Baby Girl (no it isn't because they haven't named her yet, that IS her name, but nobody puts Baby in a corner so maybe she will make it out OK)

Tra&#039:Shae Danielle ( my personal favorite bad name, easily spelled, easy to read, get the picture. Also wondering if she could be an alien baby)

Royalayn Aleze (sounds like a new casino game to me)

Alondo Arellano

Rachkkyn Olivia

Astrid Solstice (kinda tells you what her parents do on the side)

Kalvary Jo

Can you just imagine the future generation running around with names like this? Scary thought.


  1. LOL Did you ever see my post on this?

  2. No I haven't I will have to look it up, what are these people thinking?

  3. I have a small obsession with names. Okay, a huge one. Like, give me any name and I can tell you what decade it peaked in and how high it was on the Social Security name base. Parents have such an obsession know with making their children UNIQUE. I mean, if you can use your TIVO and your netflix to handpick your weekly viewing schedule (for the first time in history) why can't you pick a name that reflects exactly who you want your kid to be?
    Now, having said all that...My children are names John and Elisabeth. Because however cool "Kalvary Jo" sounds today, (and admit it, it does, kinda)'s the next generation's Wanda Brandine or Bobbi Jo Sue.

    1. I am a name buff too, not quite on your level with the SS name base. I am going to watch that movie or tv show for 1-2 hours, may even watch 2 or 3 more. But that child is going to spend approx 80 years trying to explain that name, 12 years in school being made fun of and in some cases 10 years just learning how to spell it. I like odd names, unusual names but at some point common sense should set in and I just don't see how Tra&#039:Shae Danielle, Apelu and Ubaldo could be any parent's reflection on what they want their child to be. I do admit that Kalvary is kind of cute, for a small child, even a teenager but not so cute if Kalvary wants to grow up and be a Supreme Court Justice. Did Michael Jackson really thing both his son's were going to grow up and be Prince's without the bloodline? I don't think so.

      My own children don't have "common" names either, well the first one isn't too bad, that was before I discovered there were actually books full of baby names, I didn't even name second one, Kris Kristofferson named her(Yes, THAT Kris) did and we have no idea where the hell her middle name came from, we thought it was something else until her birth certificate arrived in the post with something we had not even discussed, we are assuming it came from the fact that she was a Christmas baby and Christmas music was playing in the delivery room, when ask her name while still drugged I must have came out with something from one of the songs, but we ended up liking it better than the one we had chosen so we kept it, the third one, my angel son was named after a state, the fourth one and her identical angel twin were named what was considered unusual at the time but are now very common names, the last ones have unique but not weird names, well weird in the fact that I thought twins should have names that don't rhyme but start with the same letter.

  4. I once knew a girl whose name was Sabeena Ribena and another called, Saltana Sultana. I'm guessing the parents had imbibed too much class C drugs at the time.

    1. I'm going with your guess also or they read too many kiddie books when they were children.

  5. Again.. Wtf is wrong with people?? Just number them. Stop with all this hooked on phonics, sound it out bullshit and just give 'em a fucking number..

  6. Well... as I spawn more demon children... I will consult you for names to use and not to use lol...